A 10-Step Guaranteed Guide To Becoming A Boring Preacher πŸ₯±

Want to preach sermons so boring insomniacs will be begging for an invite?

Ready to preach so dull watching paint dry will seem like a roller coaster ride?

Well, you’re about to learn how to do just that.

In this tongue-in-cheek post, we’ll explore the secrets of becoming a truly boring preacher.

Apply these 10 steps and you’ll have a church full of sleepyheads in no time…

boring preaching in church

So settle down, grab a pillow and prepare to master the art of delivering yawn-inducing sermons.

And who knows, perhaps along the way, you’ll discover valuable lessons you can use to improve your own preaching.

10 Steps To Becoming A Boring Preacher

1. Simply Wing It
2. Forget About Focus
3. Ignore Engaging Illustrations
4. Preach Marathon Sermons
5. Ditch The Stories
6. Embrace The Monotone
7. Employ Jargon Overload
8. Rehash Well-Worn Topics
9. Go On A Cramming Spree
10. Avoid Any Real-Life Application

1. Simply Wing It 🀷

This is super easy.

Just preach without doing any sermon prep whatsoever.

You can either dust off an old sermon or leave it to chance and say whatever comes to mind in the moment.

Either way, your congregation will sleep soundly.

Just last week I went to a church within our network here in Thailand. I had high expectations as they were hosting a visiting speaker from Malaysia.

I was left disappointed.

The preacher rambled on for 2+ hours and actually said at one point:

“I don’t know how to end.”

So he didn’t.

He just kept on going and going…

This is the laziest way to preach.

And it does a real disservice to the Word of God, not to mention the people who have taken time out to come and listen to you.

The better you prepare, the better you present, so plan out what you’re going to say long before you get to the pulpit so you know how to end strong.

Here’s the sermon prep system I use.

Try it out. Your people will thank you.

2. Forget About Focus πŸ”Ž

The second step is to totally unclear about the direction you want to go.

Boring preachers excel at meandering down every rabbit trail, regardless of its relevance to their intended point (if they even have one).

And it won’t take long for your listeners to realise you have no central focus and tune out.

After all, if you don’t know what your point is how can they?

Great sermons don’t happen by accident; they are a product of a preacher who starts with a clear end goal in mind.

3. Ignore Engaging Illustrations πŸ”¦

Now, here’s a step that’s guaranteed to put your congregation in snooze mode:

Ignore the power of captivating sermon illustrations.

Drone on for 45 minutes+ and expect everyone to stay glued to your voice alone.

Or, there is a way to rescue your sermons from this dull fate.


Drumroll, please…

Sermon illustrations!

Yes, those captivating moments that bring your sermons to life and keep the congregation wide awake (well, hopefully).

Watch the 3 best sermon illustrations I’ve ever seen on YouTube.

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4. Preach Marathon Sermons ⏰

Once you start, you just can’t stop.

This strategy works a real treat.

If the first 30 minutes don’t have the sanctuary filled with the sweet sound of snoring, keep going for another 30 minutes.

And why stop at an hour?

The key here is persistence.

Ignore time limits and the fact people have lives to get back to. Just keep talking until even the most devoted congregant is begging for mercy.

Or here’s a little nugget of wisdom for you:

Your job as a preacher isn’t to fill time. It’s to make a point and make it well.

It’s not about how long you preach, but how effectively you communicate your message.

So, save your congregation from sermon-induced comas and keep it short, sweet and oh-so-engaging.

5. Ditch The Stories πŸ“š

The only thing more tedious than a lack of illustrations in your preaching is a lack of relevant or relatable stories.

If you’re serious about becoming the boringest preacher you can be then stories are risky…

You don’t want to say anything that could trigger an emotional response.

You could potentially give your congregation an unforgettable experience of actually feeling something other than mild confusion and drowsiness.

Neither do you want to share a story that clarifies, underpins or reiterates your point in any way. That’d make it easier to remember.

Alternatively, you could tell a story or two.

That’s what Jesus did.

Take a look at these 7 remarkable stories you can use.

6. Embrace The Monotone πŸ”₯

To truly master the art of boring preaching, you must let your voice blend into a soothing hum, devoid of any passion, excitement or enthusiasm.

Remember, if you’re not interested in what you’re saying, why should your listeners be?

It’s all about keeping those eyelids heavy and minds drifting off.

Maintain a steady and unvarying tone throughout your sermon. No peaks, no valleys, just a flatline of vocal monotony.

And please, resist the temptation to move around or show any signs of animation. Stay rooted to your spot like a statue of boredom.

The key is to leave your congregation scratching their heads, wondering why you bothered to turn up and preach at all. Make them question the very essence of your lacklustre existence.

Do this and I promise people will be drifting off to dreamland before you get past your sermon intro.

7. Employ Jargon Overload πŸ’¬

Want a surefire way to put everyone in a coma on a Sunday?

That’s easy, just bombard your congregation with a relentless barrage of mind-boggling theological jargon without any explanation whatsoever.

Then watch on as your people give up trying to understand what you’re saying and surrender to the sweet temptation of sleep.

Leave the job of bringing God’s Word to life in hearts and minds to the so-called “interesting preachers” out there.

Us boring preachers are pretty proud of our own secret language we’ve created, filled with bewildering words that are like a maze for the uninitiated.

Throw around words like:

  • Atonement
  • Redemption
  • Justification
  • Sanctification
  • Transubstantiation

And just assume everyone follows even if all you’re getting are blank stares.

On the other hand, you could take the more accessible approach.

And I’m not saying you should water down or dumb down the message…

Preach the great theological truths from the Word, but please break it down.

Definitely delve into the atoning penal propitiation of Christ, just explain what these precious words mean so your listeners can understand πŸ™

8. Rehash Well-Worn Topics πŸ”

Another way to keep your sermons boring is to preach on the same 3 themes again and again.

That way every Sunday is Groundhog Day.

Whether it be grace (the ultimate sermon fallback when you’re all out of ideas), standing firm in the midst of trials, or God’s unconditional love that always saves the day, these favourite topics become our cosy sermon comfort food.

But let’s face it, my fellow monotonous preacher, we’ve been milking them so hard, we might as well open a spiritual dairy farm.

Imagine this:

You step into the pulpit, and the congregation already knows what’s coming before you utter a word.

Heck, even the church mice have grown tired of hearing the same old same old.

But wait, there’s hope for us yet!

Let me introduce you to a revolutionary new concept:

Preaching the entire Bible!

Yes, I know, it’s mind-blowing 🀯

Instead of indulging in our usual sermon buffet, why not serve our congregation a wholesome feast of God’s Word throughout the year?

Let’s explore the vast richness of Scripture and not just the verses on our go-to sermon playlist.

Now, how can you infuse more creativity into your preaching, you ask?

There are 2 ways:

This approach not only guarantees a wider coverage of topics but provides ample room for unleashing your creativity in crafting compelling content, brainstorming illustrations, stories and multimedia elements.

9. Go On A Cramming Spree πŸ“…

Ah, the joy of overwhelming your congregation with an information avalanche!

It’s the perfect recipe for a snooze-fest sermon.

You see, boring preachers love nothing more than to cram as much as they possibly can into 30 minutes.

It’s like a race against time to see how many points they can squeeze in before the clock strikes zero.

But here’s a radical idea to save your people from mental exhaustion:

Embrace the art of spacing it out.

So instead of bombarding your listeners with a 4-point sermon that leaves them gasping for air, why not turn it into a delightful 4-week message series?

Spread those points across 4 Sundays where each week you focus on one juicy main point you can savour and explore in depth.

Trust me, it’s like giving your congregation a breath of fresh air. They’ll thank you for sparing them from the overwhelm and confusion of a cramming spree.

Remember, it’s not about how much you can say in one sermon; it’s about delivering a message that resonates and sticks with your listeners.

So, take a deep breath, pace yourself, and let the power of a focused and well-spaced sermon series work its wonders.

10. Avoid Any Real Life Application πŸ“£

Keeping sermons detached from real life is a key element in all of this.

After all, who needs practical advice and relevant application when you can deliver a sermon that feels like a theoretical lecture?

Instead of connecting the timeless truths of Scripture with the everyday experiences of your congregation, keep them at arm’s length. Stay in the realm of abstract concepts and theological abstractions.

Forget about addressing real-life challenges, struggles, and joys.

Who wants to hear about practical steps for building stronger relationships, overcoming obstacles, or living out their faith in the workplace?

That’s far too engaging and relatable!

Conversely, if you want your people to be doers of the Word and not just hearers only, it’s time to roll up your sleeves and equip them with practical strategies to apply the timeless truths of Scripture.

Without application, preaching is at best a lecture and at worst entertainment.

Remember, the purpose of preaching extends beyond the Sunday service…

It’s about transforming lives and empowering individuals to live out their faith in the world.

By challenging them to take action, you bridge the gap between theory and practice and equip your people to overcome obstacles, cultivate resilience and navigate the complexities of life.

Make Your Next Sermon Your Best One Yet

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Firstly, do the exact opposite of what I said in this post πŸ˜…

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Becoming A Boring Preacher: Bottom Line

Nobody wants to be a boring preacher…

Nobody wants to listen to one either.

It’s a road that leads to disengagement, lack of impact and sleepy congregations.

However, by understanding the pitfalls to avoid and implementing the tweaks we’ve discussed, you can transform your sermons into powerful, engaging, and memorable experiences.

So let’s break free from the chains of monotony, embrace creativity, connect with our listeners and deliver sermons that inspire, challenge and transform lives.

What Do You Think?

Do you have any other suggestions or experiences to share?

Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below and inspire one another to become the best preachers we can be πŸ€—

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